People come into and out of our lives on a daily basis and we never really stop to think of the impact those people may have on us. Some we forget as soon as they’re gone, but others… Others stick with you.
One of my jobs is being a part time cashier at a convenience store. I’ve worked there for the better part of 4 years. Although the pay is not great, I have gained a lot of close friendships from this job. Even the customers I have not become friends with, I am still very friendly with them. We converse on a regular basis about life, family, work, relationships, etc… We share jokes, we share sadness. I have come to know them very well. That being said, if I left that job tomorrow, my life would not be any different with the loss of these interactions. They make me smile, they make me laugh. They make the fact that I am simply a gas station lackey slightly more tolerable.
But once in a while you meet those customers that make your day better just by walking in the door. They carry an energy that radiates off of them and it effects everyone in the room. The mere sight of them brings a smile to your face. That was Shane…
My first interaction with Shane is branded in my memory. It’s something I will never forget as long as I live. I was waiting on a customer and Shane came and stood in line behind him. The customer paid for his gas and his cigarettes and walked out the door. Shane comes up to the register with the goofiest smile on his face and says, “Oh my god… He was just YUMMY! I was going to get in line before him, but I thought the view from behind would be better. I wasn’t disappointed!” He always had a smile on his face and joke waiting to make me laugh. I found out today that he killed himself. My heart breaks for his family and friends. For all the lives he touched during his time here. Unfortunately I never had the pleasure of getting to know him on a more personal level. But the Shane that I did get to know was an amazing and kind soul and I will miss him so much.
Suicide is a horrible thing. I said it before and I’ll say it again, I understand how a person can feel so low. So beat down emotionally that they feel like that is the only way out. If you are having these thoughts, please talk to someone. A friend, a family member, a priest, the neighbor’s dog. ANYONE. You have no idea the impact you have on the lives around you. You have no idea how loved you are. Even when you think you’re all alone, someone is going to be willing to put their hand out and help pull you up. No matter how bad things seem, there is ALWAYS something to fight for. There is always a reason to open your eyes and get out of bed every morning.